A Book of Mormon King and prophet, King Benjamin, said, "For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child,ksubmissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father." (Mosiah 3:19)
The challenge of trying to overcome the natural woman in me is a constant cycle. I know that I have many short comings, but I thought I had everything under control.... then I got married. my short comings are more evident than ever. My husband is kind and patient with me as I work at overcoming the natural woman. (No, he is not perfect, but we are good for each other as we face our respective limitations)
There are times when I feel like I have a good grip on things like my patience, attitude, body language... but then I read things like Dr. John Gottman's four horsemen, and I come to a rude awakening that I have a lot of work to do. I know I can do better, I know I can be better.
It can be easy to get discouraged when we feel like we are trying so hard to change or improve something that we don't like about ourselves, but that is how Satan wants us to feel. He wants us to feel discouraged and hopeless. He wants us to thing that there is no point in trying, since we are who we are and there is nothing we can do about it.
However the TRUTH is that there is hope. One of my mantras is "Fake till you make it." Let me explain... I love to people watch and I have seen certain characteristics and routines that I want have and do. I also see a lot of characteristics and choices that I want no part of. For example, I have seen wives who love the Lord, love their husband and children. They lovingly care for, serve, teach, and help lead their family. I want to be that kind of wife! On the other hand, I have seen wives who nag, bicker, want complete control, backbite, and speak negatively about being a wife and mother... I don't want to be this kind of woman.
I may not perfectly be the former type of woman, but I can "fake" it by exemplifying the kinds of things that woman would do, until I am that kind of woman. I can make an effort to say and do the things a godly wife and mother would do, and one day, that will be who I am.
I know "fake it till you make it," can sound a little deceiving, but it has helped me develop really good qualities that are who I am now. I will keep prayerfully making the effort to be better in other areas in my life until those decisions and actions are just part of who I am.
I have accepted that I will never be perfect in this life, but that wont keep me from trying to be better.
Here is a link where a prophet of God teaches us about nurturing our marriage, enjoy!
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