How has this principle, nurturing your fondness and admiration, strengthened your relationship with another individual?
As I make the effort to recognize all of the sweet things my husband does for us, and the sweet things he says when I am not feeling good, and I take the time to thank him for those things, I feel closer to him. He also is very appreciative of the things I do for us and he expresses his gratitude. I feel my fondness increase every time I see him doing something to help me and when he notices the things I do for him. I think that each time we take the time to thank each other, we feel more appreciated and unified.
Another thing I actively try to do is to notice the things I admire about him. I love that he takes his church calling seriously, he is studying hard to be able to provide for us and our future family, he loves going to the temple with me. He makes sure we pray together, and he is so good with my youngest brother who was born with Downs syndrome.
There is a saying that says, “Keep your eyes wide open during courtship and half-closed after the wedding.” I understand what the intended meaning behind this saying is, but there also might be times when we need to use both of our eyes to see the good in our spouse, especially if we have become accustomed to only noticing their shortcomings.
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman is filled with sage advice and helpful exercises to help you see the good in your spouse and to reflect on the good times in your relationship. I intend to try those exercises to help me stay aware of how blessed I am to have a spouse as wonderful as mine.
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